The boy wants a car ...

What a conversation my son and I had yesterday regarding my parental responsibilities and financially helping him get his first car. I took the stance I have always taken.

YOU WANT IT... YOU PAY FOR IT.

BACK STORY: Well, originally (pre-Dave) I was going to give him my car and buy a new car for myself. I let him know last summer that I was keeping the car until it died and he would have to continue saving for his car. I told him if I was in a place where I could help - I would match what he saved. That also was PRE-DAVE. He was also made aware of that change.

CURRENT SCENARIO: He has a job (temporarily on hold) - he works more in the summer than during school - but up until recently his urgency to fund his car has been slim while XBOX 360, Snack Foods and recently... Caitlin has taken priority for his money. The only BILLS he currently has is $15 for his cellphone and $24 for video game rental (he's since cancelled because he hasn't been working) and 10% of his paycheck, no matter how small, to his college account. Also has been renamed his "apartment fund" since he has decided he is not going to college.

I admit, I did bribe him with money for good grades. That didn't work. His grades will not be earning him any money. "I'm PASSING, mom!" That should sum up the school dilemma in one sentence for you. Now that the day of getting the official license photo is upon us his eagerness has now clicked in. He's now decided that although he hasn't saved enough money, that he should still be getting a car.

THE ARGUMENT:

1. He tells me that it is my parental responsibility to HELP him. I told him it was HIS responsibility to help himself. My parental requirements included: clothes, food, shelter, education and medical.

2. My Italian temper started flaring up at this point. From out of my mouth I blurted, "Why should I work harder to pay my bills AND help you pay for your car when YOU aren't willing to work harder to pay for your car!"

3. He basically demanded that his college money that I have mandatorily made him pay from his paychecks (10%) be turned over to him to be used for his car. I refused.

4. He asked for the money that his grandmother has given to him at his birthday and Christmas over the years to go into his college account. I told him I talked to grandma and she said she didn't want the money that she specifically wrote COLLEGE FUND on the checks getting blown on a car. So I told him that. He has many savings accounts - plus a lot of the money my mom has "given to him" sits in a 529 plan - that I'm still trying to figure out what to do with!

5. Cars cost money. Does he plan on working more hours so he can pay for his insurance, gas and maintenance? "Well, HOW MANY more hours will I have to work?"

Now you see, this is coming from a boy who lives with two parents that are workers -- and HAVE been hard workers.

I also knew this time was coming. I told him months ago that this argument was coming. Every time he wanted to take money out his car account for things like a skateboard, roller blades, clothes, xbox live etc I'd tell him he couldn't have it because you couldn't drive roller blades etc. He was angry then...and he's angry now. He's probably be even more angry if I had allowed him to take money out for every little thing.

Next problem in the foreseeable future.... Miss Caitlin!
Whoever said raising a teenager was going to be easy??
Not a single person I have ever known...that's who!
Somebody pass the hair color.. I feel a new grey hair forming!